Feeling Sick

College is great don't get me wrong but what they don't tell you is that when your roommate gets sick, you get sick.  My roommate has been congested and coughing for a few days and I thought I was in the clear until I woke up this morning.  My throat is not feeling too hot.  I just am like tired and achy all over.  It's times like these that I wish I had my bed and I could just call it an early night and just veg out.  But I'm a college student and that isn't really an option.  I really don't like going to the doctor for small things like this or taking cold medicine so I think I'm just going to try and eat a few apples every day and up my water intake.  These two things will help to flush out my system and hopefully give me a little more energy and motivation.  I might have a cup of decaf tea a little later because there is something about tea that is so comforting and healing.

Ta ta
~Jamie

Branching out

For those of you who are in middle school, high school, or college: joining clubs and organizations can be a great way to meet a ton of new people.  If you join clubs that you have an interest in, you will meet people that are guaranteed to at least be interested in a couple of things you are interested in because you both have joined the same club.  Another piece of advice I can give is strike up a conversation with someone, anyone.  Maybe someone you have seen around or someone you share a class with.  This is a great way to make plans to go to meetings or events together.  Also if you share the class with someone, you now have a person that you can go to with questions about the class and talk to them before and after class.

As mentioned previously, I have been having roommate issues and because I'm in a triple, the roommate that I get along splits up her time between us.  This leaves me to figure out things to do a lot of the time, like figuring out someone to go lunch with.  That being said, I am gaining confidence through joining clubs and organizations.  Me putting myself out there proved to be a positive thing this morning.  I went to a club meeting last night and struck up a conversation with a sophomore that I have a class with and we chatted about various topics.  This morning I was hanging out in the food court type area in the center of campus having breakfast by myself and the same girl approached me.  She sat down and had breakfast with me and we talked for about an hour.  She is actually really nice and I'm so happy she came up to me and had breakfast with me because I would never have had the courage to do something like that.  It proved to me that being involved in this club helped me to make a friend who has common interests with me.

This small encounter that I had gave me a boost of positivity that carried throughout the day.  It was a small step that will benefit my journey to improving my mental health.

Ta ta
~Jamie

PS. Look at this tasty salad I had for dinner.

So delayed

Sorry for not posting in over a week!!!!  I've been so bad about posting .  Last weekend was crazy I barely stopped running around.  But I have to say I went to my aunts house and she had so much good food it was crazy.  She makes this BLT dip that is amazing so I counted and I let myself have ten pita chips with the BLT dip, five lays with sour cream and onion dip, and five of the other chips and dips and then I had a decent sized scoop of spaghetti, two meatballs, some sauce and a small portion of lasagna.  Then for desert I had strawberries with a small drizzle of my uncle's homemade chocolate sauce and a dollop of whipped cream it was amazing!!

This week I was having roomate issues and what not and I was really homesick I was just not up to posting. Anyways now onto the positive, I had a really great weekend.  I had a great visit with my family and got to spend time with my aunts, uncles, and cousins and of course my mom, dad, and siblings.  I was really good about what I ate.  I really didn't snack too much except for Friday when I got home because my house just has good snacks.  This morning my uncle made scrambled eggs and bacon.  I had two servings of eggs and a half of a piece of whole wheat toast and two pieces of bacon.  Because I wasn't at my own house I didn't really have the urge to snack so I was really good all day.  I have been pretty good about drinking water.  I have been having frequent headaches so I have been drinking a lot of water and that doesn't seem to be the cause so now I really have to focus on getting enough sleep and see if that helps because I really don't like taking ibuprofen everyday; I don't want to end up with a stomach ulcer.

That was such a ramble anyway more tomorrow.

Ta ta
~Jamie

Oh the weekend!

So this weekend I am going home...again.  I do go to school fairly close to home so I am able to go home for the long weekend coming up.  Last weekend I didn't do a great job of limiting myself and using portion control to be completely honest.  This weekend will revolve heavily on food because I am going to my aunt's house for Sunday dinner and football.  I will be posting a lot of pictures on Sunday just to show you guys the massive amount of temptation I will have to avoid.  I intend on enjoying of my family's sunday classics but just have small tastes.  You should be able to enjoy the foods you love because it is so incredibly hard to cut them out completely.  By limiting the amount of less healthy food you have, you can still be satisfied and not feel left out because you aren't eating the same things as everyone else.

Ta ta
~Jamie  

Sorry!!

I sorry I haven't updated in several days.  I went home for the weekend and it was absolute madness.  It has been crazy these last few days too.  On Monday I worked out for about a half hour at the gym on campus.  I ran a mile on the elliptical which took about 20 minutes and then I did some arm machines.  While I was there I also weighed myself so as of October 8, 2013 I weighed 281 pounds so that will be my official starting off weight.  The weekend overall was good I was in good spirits pretty much the whole weekend.  On Monday I was able to get a lot of work done and I didn't really mind doing it.  I have been at college for almost two months and really feel now that I am making real friends and getting involved in clubs and organizations and it is really clicking for me.  I am feeling more and more comfortable every day that I am here which is exciting.  I also didn't nap at all on Monday, Tuesday, or today.  Last night I decided to go to sleep around 10:30 and then I woke up around 9:30.  I really needed that sleep.  I have been headaches almost everyday and I was in a really bad sleep cycle.  I finally got a good amount of sleep last night.  I had a lot of energy today and I didn't have to take any ibuprofen.  The elevators in my building are never working properly and so today only one elevator was working so I decided just to walk up to the 20th floor.  It was good cardio and I felt good afterward.  I had to take a couple breaks on the way up but its always an accomplishment when I do walk up the stairs.  Anyway those are all the updates I have for today.  I hopefully will be posting some beauty posts soon with pictures.  Thanks.

Burst of Motivation

Today was better than yesterday for sure.  I got a burst of motivation to get work done after my last class for the day.  I was in the library for a few hours getting things done so I continued with that burst of motivation.  I live on the 2oth floor of my building and I usually take the elevator all the way up.  Today I walked up 5 flights of stairs and then took the elevator the rest of the way up.  It felt good to get my heart rate up a little bit.  This weekend is going to be crazy because I'm going home so I probably won't be able to fit a work out in tomorrow even though I really wanted to.  I will probably do what I did today and take the stairs as much as I can and then take the stairs the rest of the way up.  Being home means being around amazing food constantly.  I'll be posting some pictures of ways that I am going to portion control my meals and adding various small snacks throughout the day to keep myself on track.  

Garbage day

Today was one of those days that I want to have less and less of.  I was feeling really crapy.  I slept during the day which is something I want to get away from.  I really want to get a full 8 hours of sleep every night and get to sleep at a reasonable hour, which is very hard to do in college being as though I am most productive in the very late hours of the night.  I am hopeful for tomorrow.  I am excited to start fresh tomorrow.  I am learning to forgive myself for my mistakes, correct them, and learn from them.  I took five minutes today just to visualize myself accomplishing all of my goals and allowing myself to feel as though I have lost 100 pounds which is the ultimate weight loss goal for me at the moment.  Visualization just helps to put you in a better mood.  Positive thoughts lead to more positive thoughts which will help to increase happiness.  I will visualize myself the way I want to look and feel after I reach my goal, this will help in the process of reaching my goals.  

I also want to address the "beauty" portion of this blog.  I really loved make up when I was a little kid.  Anytime I got cash, I would save it up to buy lipsmackers lip glosses.  I was obsessed, I think I had about 10-20 on me at any given time.  I started experimenting with eye shadow in 10th grade.  Like I said, it was experimentation so the looks weren't always the most flattering and sometimes they were just flat out horrible.  I played around with different make up things and then my senior year it really changed.  I invested in some higher end make up because I was babysitting at least three days a week and working at my local bagel store every weekend so I had money to buy the make up I wanted.  I purchased a Mac pallet pro pallet with several eyeshadows and some brushes.  Throughout my  senior year I really built up my make up collection.  I also started watching many make up gurus on youtube.  Subscribing to youtubers and reading their blogs inspired me to make this blog.  My make up skills really grew over the last year.  I built up these skills in order to boost my self confidence because I was and still am unhappy with my body.  I compensate for my body by using make up to help my confidence.  I love getting compliments about my make up.  I was so honored when my friend asked me to do her hair and make up for a prom she was asked to.  I also did my own hair and make up for my own prom and getting complimented on those was so amazing and a great feeling.  I hope this just clarifies the beauty portion of this blog.

I really hope that this blog inspires others to take charge of their lives and improve them for better while giving tips and tricks that I have come across over time.  

ta ta for now
~Jamie

Starting off

This blog has been a long time coming for me.  My name is Jamie and I currently weigh around 280 pounds.  All my life I have struggled with my weight.  It is something that has been a burden and anyone who battles with their weight knows that the journey to finally being happy with your body starts and stops and starts again all the time.  It is now the final time that I am "starting" over again.  I have major self esteem issues with not only my weight but my personality and how others perceive me.  I have wanted to make this blog for a long time and have been recently inspired by many things.  I am currently in college and these are supposed to be the best of years of my life.  I am finding it hard to do this feeling the way that I do about myself.  This blog is going to be my journey of improving my physical fitness and also my mental health.  I have experienced minor depression in the past and I know the signs and symptoms: overeating, excessive sleeping, sense of hopelessness, feeling of helplessness, and lack of interest to do activities.  I feel myself slipping into my old ways again.  I also want to FINALLY be comfortable with my body.  I have progressively gained weight since I was 14.  Even when I was 165 pounds I was not happy with my body at all.  This really speaks to my mental status and how that has played a major role in my weight gain.  I fully understand that my weight loss is going to take a very long time but honestly, I am excited to completely change my life for the better.  I know once I achieve my various goals, I will radiate positivity and be a better person because of it.  I will be posting everyday different steps I have taken to get to my goal and also how my goals are going.  Thanks for your time and I hope that this blog inspires someone, anyone to take the leap of faith that I have made to be a healthier person.